I’ve been in such a depressing mood
today didn’t help at all, being around the most negative person I have the pleasure of knowing. turns out I care about them way too much to function properly around them anymore. we used to be such great friends and I fell in love and somewhere down the line something pushed us apart. funny thing is, it isn’t the high number of women he has shameless casual sex with, it isn’t the constant negativity dripping from his lips, and it isn’t the way he constantly plays me hot and cold. I still let myself care and I don’t know what happened. it was probably something I did and it makes me feel so idiotic, unimportant, disgusting and just..inadequate being around him. I’ve never hated myself more than the times I think about us and why we can’t be something, and more so why I can’t bring myself to hate him. I feel like a horrible person. all I want to do is sleep forever and vomit until my stomach bleeds.
